The second point... Is about attraction of girls and guys. Which i got from leon's blog:
"Right. We've all been through this step - rejected, reject others.
Oh well. What has come to past has became a valuable lesson to me. Gone were the days where I immaturely pursued a girl's love with presents, mushy messages and lots of sincerity. Seriously, I thought they would work, accompanied with lots of sweet tongue and all those lovey dovey things you see on television serials.
Now I know who to trust - not those stupid television dramas, not those romantic movies, and definitely not Parvesh! (LOL)What seemed like a wooing strategy for us guys (all the romantic candlelit dinner, buying hella lots of gifts and declaring your undying love for her) is just a complete turn off for the ladies.Like, really turn off.Not logical?
Nevermind, let me put this across - the effect all this "wooing strategy" have is simple, you make her scared of you, she puts up your defences and WHAM. Bye for a century.
For guys, it's going to be different when some hot sizzling babe goes up to you and pour out all her love to you! You will be like, WOW, YES, I'm in cloud 9!
Guys are like switches, girls are like volume knobs.
It takes a moment to attract a guy but it takes a process to attract a girl.Doing such stuff like giving lots of presents and declaring your undying love just makes you look desperate, an extreme turn off for the ladies!
Attraction is a tough thing for guys to learn. Yet ladies grasp them well, like naturally - playing hard to get, making you miss them, a little touch here and there, suspense.. ETC. Makes you crazy no?"
Hope u don't mind me just copying it straight. =P too lazy to summarise it.
Well, i DO agree to it to some extent... oh no, cannot say some... Mdm rozy would kill me for writing that in SS. =P hmmm, lets just say half of it.
I guess i have to agree that guys can be attracted really quickly, while girls need time. =) But of course there is an explanation to it. Girls are by nature more sensitive, more observant, and more concern about 'details'. While guys mostly have a certain extend of 'heck -care' attitude. And i can say that girls are more serious in this kinda situation, and most girls would and will put all their heart on the line. An obvious example, girls take a long time to get over a relationship, with many days spent on crying and heartache, while guys... i'm not saying they don't feel any heartache at all, cuz of course they do! However, most guys get over it quicker than girls.
Another point i agree in is 'turn offs'. Being too direct in confessing feelings IS a major turn off. Esp if the relationship/friendship is not yet stable. EG, u don't even know the person well. Or like from my previous discussion topic, u hardly even talk in REAL LIFE!! Most girls would turn to rejecting as they do not know how to handle the 'extra, super, difficult and mind boggling question' which can actually be a one word answers to guys. Why? Girls takes it more seriously.
(added point. Guys who comes in too strong are big turn offs too. Cuz, they tend to invade the girl's privacy and she may think ur irritating. Plus, it would only make matters worse if she don't even knoe u that well. So another hint... Get close to girls first. Rushing it would mean... GONE CASE. )
However, this does not include those who both have feelings for each other. This scenario would most likely have a happy ending... Don't u think it's so beautiful when 2 ppl confesses that they BOTH have feelings for each other. <333>
Okay, i'm getting carried away by DRAMA series. But hey, it DOES happen in real life!!! Think about it, issn't that how couples are formed? A certain percentage of them to be specific.
Now for the disagreements. Since i'm already on the topic of drama series, might as well continue. Many people think that whatever that happens in those romantic drama series and movies are all... PURE CRAP. But after much thinking, maybe some parts are exaggerated (which totally makes those drama series interesting!) , but there is still a possibility it does happen in real life... What people call, the MIRICLES. Do u believe in miracles?
However, i do not encourage people to go believe in fairy tale endings. Just that, it MAY happen. But it would be better to go do something about ur liking that to wait for... FATE... i believe in actions. =)
The fact that guys are like switches... Do u think it's easy to attract a guy???
Firstly, to prevent and misunderstanding and interpretation, i, Jamie Lim have NEVER tried to be desperate and get a guy's attention or attraction... Soon???? One day???? eh, maybe NOT. i don't believe in being desperate. =P ( The attention i refer to is liking. Sexual appeal and so on. Obviously not counting getting guys to listen to my views and what so not.^^)
okay, i think i have had some similar conversation with some friends on " It's hard to get a guy's attention", which was a HOT topic for me as i wanted to explore it further and prove my point. =) Oh, it was inspired by... my COUSIN! =x
The final product of the conversation is that. I feel that it IS hard to get a guy's attention/attraction. UNLESS, he is single and MAYBE desperate for a companion. It is said that most would go with the flow. Guess guys are less picky while girls tend to be more fussy. =X
2nd point, it even harder to get a guy's attention when he is chasing some other girl. Why? SOME guys treat it like a challenge... And truth is, that they ARE in control of how they get the girl. Be it romantic dinners, presents or just simply confessing feelings. TRUTH, guys do the chasing. U hardly see girls chasing guys... i hope not... hmmmm...
Back to point. ( sorry to those who are getting bored about my 'beating around the bush'. new ideas are popping up in my overloaded brain that i'm repeating at time to pack more points in. =P) Since guys are in control of how the relationship generates over time, they can plan? or plot?. They usually can see the whole process and work towards the goal, which is... getting the girl to like him. Thus treating it as a challenge and the confident that he can achieve it would keep him going till the goal is met. ( psychological thinking).
3rd point. Girls CAN and are easy to attract. Oh no, u may think i'm confused or mad cause i sound as if i am contradicting myself. HOWEVER, the before paragraph on the same point is explaining girls character and why they CANNOT be attracted INSTANTLY. =) This is talking about attraction and not counting time limits. See the link? =P
Now, why do i say girls are easy to attract. Firstly, girls are soft hearted, and can be 'touched' easily. Seen drama series when the guy simply have to stand in the pouring rain outside the girl's house and the girl would forgive him for whatever he has done? Same concept here. Sincerity and actions to prove it can soften the girl's 'heart' and in turn, getting the girl's love. Why? Those actions prove that the guy is trust-able. Oh no, i have just gave guys a huge hint in the woo-ing strategy. Lol, carry on learning and improving!! =P
Last point. Hot and famous ppl are SUPER hard to attract. This somehow applies to both girls and guys. I think the peer influence that they ARE hot cause higher expectation to one-self and thus resulting in being more fussy. ( Impt point, i am NOT referring to ppl who are famous for knowing and talking alot to the opp sex (flirts) AND those who are popular for being outspoken and thick skinned! eg, self-proclaimed HOT)
(All these points are gathered from the friends i have asked and discussed with. From different ppl's views. So if u feel that u have more to add, a need to disagree or agree, pls do so! =) help me improve the points on ATTRACTION)
AND, i'm giving 'hints' NOT because i want someone to try get my attention. Just adding into the topic and helping the female species??? LOL...
Whew. Sorry for not being able to quote and color for the good of your eyes.
First and foremost, I have to shamefully admit that I do not have the same blogging stamina as Miss Jamie Lim to write a structured essay with the support of a major peer to peer discussion to follow-up my blog post, so, salutations to the long-winded bamboo! (:P)
But similar to how our beloved follow-up blogger has posted, I'd have my go on the disagreements but I'll save my breath on the agreements (hehe, so cheapskate!)
However I have to emphasis her last point, which I think is very becoming and I detest it:
The fact that you are born with natural good looks and because of that you get compliments every now and then from your peers saying your hot and stuff and this results in high self esteem and arrogance (this not mentioned in the argument, though) , which obviously, sucks.
No one likes arrogance, playful ego is fine, but not that extreme ego whereby you screw someone's mood entirely.
Okay, putting that aside, let's get to the disagreement:
I do not believe in drama serials whereby the poor guy have to stand under the pouring rain outside the evil girl's house just to obtain forgiveness. I mean, if I was to put myself into the shoes of the girl, I would have actually PITIED the guy for his dumb intellect and his foolishness and be overwhelmed with guilt as I am the reason that he got himself sick and land himself into hospital or whatsoever.
I guess I wouldn't feel touched but guilty, definitely.
Oh well.
Happy MOTHER'S day to all mothers!
Everyday I learn more about people around me, negatively, and positively.
Be sure to allow ActiveX content if your running on Internet Explorer!
Best viewed on Mozilla Firefox with 1280*1024 Resolution.
Skin fully designed by me, using Macromedia Dreamweaver 8 and Adobe Photoshop CS 2.0.
Special thanks goes out to Imeem , Photobucket and Blogger .
Loads of love goes out to Boon May for helping out with the redirecting.
How it works: Please tag your tags on the black tagboard.
I will reply your tags as YOUR NICK on the grey tagboard below. Thank you! ;D
Pop up my Cbox
Lime green refer to good reads.
Clayton the Yummy Claypot Rice
Ee Sheen the Wound Open 5 Times
Fang Ning the Ice Mountain Addict
Jamie the Bamboo Who Can Do Maths
Michelle Goh the Tampines Dwarfy
Ming Yew the Monkey Businessman
Muhammed the Broken Heart Academy
Nicole Niam the Curly Jesus Addict
Syariff the Enthusiastic Sheriff
Xin Yi the Happy Until Can't Happy
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
