so as it seemed. things turned out wrongly.
it needed time to heal her wounds but i inflicted another.
pain. misery. agony. despair. her feelings.
it all started with a friend of hers.
seeing so that i have hurt her by breaking up,
he stood by for her, scolded me.
at first i didn't mind.
but he got over the limit by calling me a bastard.
but i still forgave.
not until he repeatedly scolded me, like the anger in his heart never dissipates
even though i humbled myself and apologized.
i was enraged. out of anger i told him to check my friends's blog.
of course, being the arch enemy of her, my friend blogged harshly about the break up
to inflict hurt if she reads that.
and she did. and her friend did, too (i guess).
there was a tag on her board , using the alias anonymous.
someone told me it was her friend. anonymous tag made me angry
and i scolded him again, blasting out hurtful words about anonymous but about her.
that wound , was inflicted.
hate must be the word that describes how she looks at me.
i sincerely apologize for the hurt that i have caused. i have not been good at words and i have always make people feel bad. and i know her friend is going to kill me soon when he know i made her feel so sad... ...
my hands. my legs. they are just so sweaty. it's not entirely my fault. i didn't want that to happen but it's just the hereditary genes. what is this. they are just a nuisance. the sweat stinks and make dry paper wet. how am i going to write properly. teachers complain about my handwriting being so untidy. have they realised what my problem is? how am i going to do pull ups, when my hand is like a lubricant? why does my leg get rashes so commonly? bloody genes. bloody genes. i am like a monster. people would avoid my hands. they would.. they would.. i am strange.
hello blog, mid year examinations starts today with English and History elective. English was fairly easy and I wrote about Nazi's holocaust cause I happened to read it's article on wikipedia so I had quite a lot of information about it. History elective was not as smooth as English though because I memorized the wrong stuff (the topic which I thought would be important didn't came out. ugh.) anyway, after school Lemuel , Melson and Me waited for Sabrina and her friends for quite a long time as they had some supplementary. Jennifer was going crazy over Mr Tchen (as usual. bad girl! xD) and she kept tooking quick peeks at him as I was getting tips from Wei Jie on singing high pitch [thanks Wei Jie! and also Wan Swen! ;) ]. After squirrel Sabrina was ready to crack nuts (I mean go home) , Me and Melson planned a little trick without planning (ironical!). We sort of hide from the rest of the friends without them knowing then we tricked them into saying that we were in grave danger and so ignore us and take bus 10. However, what we said was far from the truth. We walked slowly to the Katong Shopping Mall as we know that 10 will reach there after going TKGS. The bus didn't come for so long so we decided to buy drinks from the Teh Bing Seller and then we lied to them that we were forced to buy drinks from the Teh Bing Seller when we got on the bus. They were shocked when we got on the bus of course. Haha. And guess what. Another event happened on the bus. We were sitting behind Amanda and her friends and there were some TKGS students sitting in front of them. They were super annoyed with Amanda and her friends because they were making a lot of noise and one of the girl really looked super pissed. Blah. I think she thought I was making the noise :X . Anyway, on my trip home, I met Edmund and his friends. Ah. Good old primary school days. That's about today and God bless you. ;)
hello blog. haven't been blogging for days (been lazy). yesterday i posted an entry but i deleted it. thanks to shi xiang for pointing out that Satan is actually just using that event to displease God. May God bless you, Brother! (: here's what happened yesterday.
after the bleak lessons in school, the rainforest project members had to stay back for some lessons on how to produce good documentary. the trainer showed us a video, which impacted me a lot. the video shows the Holocaust back then in World War II. it showed us the cruelty of those Nazi as the video depicted ways of human torture and human killing. there were also lots of scenes where they showed us the corpse of people. the Nazi wanted to produce a perfect race back then and they came up with a very stupid idea, which is to exterminate all those inferior race. through methods of head chopping, gun firing, extreme labour,starvation and gassing. those "inferior race" were also humiliated as the Nazi used them as guinea pigs for scientific research and some people were unwillingly castrated. it left me questions about humans. they can be so cruel.
anyway, after the boring lesson (once again), headed home via 10. sometimes I really dislike taking 10 as it passes Chai Chee Secondary, one of the schools I disliked. Almost every time when I take 10 home, I will encounter with those Chai Chee malays. they will normally head to the back of the bus and start creating trouble. for instance, there were this group of boys and they were fighting and shouting loudly in the bus. seriously annoying. sometimes they would purposely play techno songs on their handphone loudly (i don't really mind but what about other commuters). back to yesterday. there was this woman who was so freaking annoyed with those malays that she shouted at them when she got off the bus, lol. those guys didn't dare to make a sound. talking about testis-less.
okay. now i'll blog about today. today was quite a boring day as usual but i finally managed to reach home early. whew. there's another interesting thing that happened in the bus again. there was this Chong Cheng High couple sitting near us. after melson,lemuel,sabrina,fang lynn and celine got off the bus, i was just sitting there starring out of the window. i took a quick glance at them and guess what, the guy's hand was on the girl's between-the-legs area. talk about horniness, man. well i believe that's quite normal, though. in a relationship, the guy is normally more to the sexual approach while the woman is more to the chatty approach (usually the one talking). when a couple gets into a long ride with not much people around them, this is what happens:
first, the guy would normally snug up close to the girl.
secondly, the guy would then play with the hand.
third, the guy would somehow try to get his arm around the girl.
fourth, there would be quick kisses.
fifth, the sexual approach slowly builds up and light patting occurs.
sixth, the guy would try to wrap his arm around the girl's body.
seventh, the sexual approach is so high that the guy would start caressing the girl's body. (which i saw today! x_x )
taking long bus rides is kind of cool when you have enough time to spare, because you'll never know what you can see and in long rides you can do many stuff like reading, revising and reflecting. yup. (: that's all about today, and yesterday.
my examinations are coming and for those who are reading this and are currently having exams or exams are coming, good luck for your exams and i sincerely wish that you would pass with flying colors! take care! (:
this is supposed to be posted yesterday but blogger kind of screwed up yesterday so i'm posting it today
hello blog. today is monday. heard of monday blues? yup. really long and boring day today. had maths supplementary after school. boring. waited for 3A people to finish their classes for like one hour while doing maths homework. went home with mel lem jenn sab celine and grace via 10 and me lem jenn were sort of like nerds united as we studied on the bus lol . poor melson, he must be feeling so left out. went home via 29 after taking 10. there weren't any seats and i was standing beside this nurse who was sitting down but the ceiling of the bus kept dripping water on her so i was like use my palm to shelter. and she gave me a tissue. how nice people can be. came back home and grinded through more maths homework while getting frustrated over my incapability of solving circle angle questions. so i decided to read my christian book and the chapter i was reading is really kind of meaningful so i decided to quote it here:
"How could you?" Helen screamed. "How could you ever do such a thing?" Tom stared helplessly at his wife. He had commited adultery, faced his sinful actions, and asked his wife to forgive him. "But you know it was wrong," she said. "You knew that was the ultimate betrayal of our marriage." " I never planned for an affair to happen," Tom said with tears in his eyes. Tom wasn't lying. He knew he was making a few bad choices, but he hadn't looked ahead at the consequences of his actions. AFter almost an hour of pleading, he said something that helped Helen begin to understand and eventually to forgive. "I was unfaithful to you in hundreds of ways before I ever commited adultery." He spoke of their being too busy to spend quality time together, his critical attitude, her occasional lack of emotional response, her not listening to him when he talked about problems at the office. "Just little things, always little things," he said. "At least in the beginning they seemed that way." That's exactly how Satan works in human lives. He begins by bombarding our minds with cleverly devised patterns of irritation, dissastisfaction, nagging thoughts, doubhts, fears, and reasonings. He moves slowly and cautiously (after all, well-laid plans take time). Tom said he began to doubt that Helen truly loved him. She didn't listen, and she didn't always respond to his amorous moods. He dwelt on those thoughts. Whenever she did anything he didn't like, he kept track. He kept track by remembering and adding that to his list of dissastifactions. One of his coworkers listened and she offered him sympathy. One time she said, "Helen doesn't deserver a warm, caring man like you." (Satan also worked in her.) Each time Tom took a tiny step off the right path, he justified his actions in his mind: If Helen won't listen to me , there are other people who will. Although he said the word people to himself, he really meant the woman in the next cubicle. The coworker listened. Weeks later, he hugged her and as he did so, he wished he could feel that caring response from his wife. It was a harmless embrace - or so it seemed. Tom didn't grasp that Satan is never in a hurry. He takes time to work out his plans. He doesn't immediately overwhelm people with powerful desires. Instead, the enemy of our minds starts with little things - little dissastifactions, small desires - and builds from there
i could almost relate this to my life. i lost to satan. lost it and made her feel hurt. i'm sorry, really sorry.
hello blog! another meaningful day was born with the start of chemistry lessons at 8. i was quite late but met imee on the way and we realised that to save ourselves from running (mr tan said 1 minute late 10 rounds) we had to run. so we run and then i grinded through 3 hours of hardcore chemistry lesson. got back our test papers and mr tan was really angry at some people and held them back to scold them. for those who are reading this and are being scolded, please do not hate mr tan. what advantage do you have when you hate him and start hating chemistry? he will not suffer but in the end you would be the one when your results flunk. so prove him wrong that you guys aren't good by working hard for a distinction and watch his face get shocked. (: isn't that better? anyway, after chemistry, me, wei jie, tze pui, wei rong, imee, jolene went to siglap macdonalds to eat. met up with abby afterwards and we went to abby's house to study (can you believe it). abby lives near a cemetery (426 siglap road) but actually it is quite a nice place because the condominium looks like a holiday resort. when we went to abby house, i kind of helped her pack up the room because i am a neat freak and it is hard to resist the evil of messyness (: and abby felt quite guilty (it's okay abby, cleaning is a joy! lol.) after much play, fun and laughter we finally settle down and studied chemistry/physics with our mp3 on. at around 4 we went to meet up with wei jie who have left earlier on to get money from home and to change. after that we headed to the national stadium for that SYF thingy. got a seat somewhere among many hot , sweaty bodies but not for long. me, wei jie and abby went to buy drinks but after running 2 rounds around the stadium we finally got some drinks from a lonely old man and then we watched the performance from many bands. it was really fantastic except the fact that reverberation was all over the place (physics). after all the performance we waited for like almost an hour for those judges to tabulate the results and announce it. Tanjong Katong Secondary School won Gold with Honours for Appearance and went in for the finals of SYF. great. (: after singing the school song, me, wei jie, tze pui, wei rong, imee sprinted to the other side of the stadium to catch the beautiful sunset but it was kind of too late and the weather started to turn bad - precipitation. after that we sort of like became lost sheeps and tried to get to kallang macdonalds by going around the stadium 2 times (with the fear of being ganged by West Spring people, haha) and then walk for a very long time. got there just to realise that our next destination was parkway and so we headed there, where we saw Justin (HAHA wei rong :P). ate KFC and then headed home. thanks to wei jie , tze pui, imee, wei rong, jolene, abby, chang sheng, zackary, shi xiang, biondi for allowing me to have such a wonderful time. and imee, thank you for the concern over my problems and through your story i have learned a valuable lesson - never be too emotional as it would make you look like a complete idiot. thanks to chang sheng who cared about my life and my relationship (: . thanks to zackary for taking the wrong bus just to spend some time molesting me HAHA. sorry to melson and lemuel for not going with you all for dinner (you guys are nice and fun people to be with). yup. that's quite all about today. and thanks to all who are reading this because you guys are really really GREAT PEOPLE. (: cheers!
hi blog. feeling quite emotional now. uploaded a new video into the blog , taken from vanny's cousin blog. thank you if your reading this! and credits to donghaeng.com for making such a wonderful flash. halehlujah. school was boring somehow even though today is friday and there's no cca. had ipw after school and realised that our video we made a lot of mistakes. after ipw me and lemuel waited for melson for like almost 1 hour and then we head off for downtown east by a cab with fang lynn as well for our CG outing. however, when we reached there, we were informed that they have no more business to do in downtown so we headed to safra for bowling lol. melson emerged the winner. bah evil bom bom. haha had a lot of fun with CG people. (: and then we were going YAHOO , in that hard gay tone. after we had fun with bowling balls we had to play with the stormy weather. we darted from safra to the nearest bus stop lol but lemuel went to the wrong bus stop xD. so he had to run in the rain to join us back. and then my bus came a little while longer and went home. that's about today. bah. and talentsearch is on! what should i do? dance or sing? help me out ya. and good luck to those TK band members who are reading this. i'm going to watch your performance tomorrow! :)
yo. today's a really relaxing day. had napfa. scored A for most stations except that pesky standing broad jump. blah. anyway, left for bukit timah after school as part of our rainforest project. we were led by a bunch of really professional people and we had lots of fun filming the rainforest. the deforestation that rainforest experiences has really negative effect, with the major one being the loss of oxygen reproduction. sigh. idiots still deforest. anyway, we saw many interesting things and learnt many things. for example, there's this plant that helps this species of tiny ants by giving them shelter and food but in return the ants protects it from caterpillars. however, there is this certain type of caterpillar that has evolved through time and learned to "bribe" the ants by giving them some sugar solution that they can make, so that they can eat the leaves of that plant. cool huh? we filmed termites, spiders, ants, ferns, lichens, super tall trees, butterflies, dragonflies, monkeys and even squirrels! (HAHA SABRINA!) yup. that's quite alot about today. and i wanna add that my maid is freaky. it's like she is smiling 24/7. it is so damn freaky and gives me nightmares (kiddin'). oh and to add that she's SO dumb that she can score a 120792335781112412435^(236723+357*45472) out of 10 for a stupidity rating. she actually put vegetable dishes into the rice cooker =.= and when i told her i have sore throat she gave me toasted bread. tsk.
hey blog. today woke up quite early. 10+ and then ate some greasy carrot cake before rushing out to for church. today the pastor preached the same message as good friday. lol. and after service ended i have to rush! but for some reason i shall not blog about it because well.. no privacy. haha. maybe i should lock my blog but it's SO easily crackable (if your IT savvy, like me :P ). anyway, had fun at somewhere. after that i wanted to go home but then recieved a happy easter greeting from imee so i randomly replied hey i'm at
good friday. also known as easter day, this is the day where christians come together to remember what Jesus did 2000 years ago - He died on the cross so that we humans the sinners can be redeemed from sins. okay. started of early today. woke up at 10 and then was chatting with keita while doing that charles chew workbook (so many pages!) and then set off to cineleisure to meet up with wan fong wei rong and thong kiat. watched Eight Below, a show about this explorer who brought this scientist (scientist paid him) to the antartica because he needed to find this mercury rock. however , on their way back, mishaps happens and the two people had to fly back to the city for medical treatment and so reluctantly the explorer had to leave his 8 sled dogs alone in the icy storm.... okay. back to what happened. we had lunch at long john where abby and jolene met up with us later. talked for a quite a long time before i had to rush for church. had easter service of course. pastor preached about choices. and he preached something that i want to say here. there is an inside attraction and outside attraction in everyone of us. outside attraction is like beauty etc while inside attraction is about kindness etc. after the service ended i rushed home and blogged.
PS: i realised that the keyboard (musical instrument) is very good at changing people's mood. it can bring out a sense of sadness from the way it sounds.
whew. had 2 services today because of our very special guest sy rogers, an ex homosexual and a gifted communicator. his preaching is really good and funny. learned a lot. one of the thing he preached about was the four seasons in an era. we are in this season where crisis will come soon, where people will have war and chaos, before a period of calm and peace. and we are the generation that have to bring the people from the chaotic era to the peaceful era. sy rogers also mentioned that christianity is the fastest growing religion (not really a religion, it's a RELATIONSHIP with God) and he said that at this rate, the world population will be christians by 2020. hallehlujah. God has the perfect plan. :)
hey blog. today went to school early for pds but sergeant Brian realised he didn't have the key to go into the bunk to take pds guns so we wasted the time at school! then i went home =.= and played sims 2. was bored out to minds. anyway, went to taka fountain to watch arnez's performance with thong kiat, keng lai, wan fong, imee , wei rong. arnez and his friends were performing some brazil martial arts for like two hour. HAHA the way imee go up the lamp block is FUNNY haha (but i won't tell you how, poor imee) okay. after that , we went to eat. gee, food in the city are priced at outrageous prices. thong kiat got his korean lunch from a food court at 8 dollar and i got my chicken rice for 4.50! killer prices.after that wan fong had to go back , and then followed by keng lai and wei rong. so left with imee and thong kiat. we did crazy things.thong kiat the guy who looks like a NS men because of his hair went to buy beer from seven eleven! HA. and me and imee tried a sip. DISGUST was the expression in our face. yucks. bitter. then we went from malls to malls starting from that mall that played the Zz Zz Zz music and then to another mall with China Black pub. and then we started to walk to Goodwood Park (a hotel) but first we had to cross this fat junction and imee and i almost got killed because we thought it was already flashing green man (traffic light) =.=. okay then we got into the hotel and we acted like some weird language foreigners and then we started to talk jap then we talked indian and then cheena. after touring around the hotel we hopped to York Hotel (what a name! lol) and we started our japanese frenzy again. after that was Elizabeth Hotel, where we joked that we were red indians and we started to do the oh-oh-oh-oh things red indians do. lame but fun. yup. walked for a very long time where we finally came to far east plaza and imee treat me mash potato (because she don't want to take my 20 cents)! HAHA. thanks! then we settled down in this hotel which i forgot the name. and rested. and soon after that i went home and that's the end of this fun day. thanks to all who made this day fun. :) and don't try to kick me down the block again wan fong HEHE (or else eunos girl will also fall.SO EVIL :P .)
SORRY TO ALL WHO READ THIS, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER I HAD OFFENDED YOU. I HAVE COME TO HUMBLE MYSELF AND SINCERELY APOLOGISE. BECAUSE OF MY PROBLEMS I HAVE CAUSED A LOT OF PEOPLE TO BE ANGRY OR IRRITATED. FOR THAT I AM TRULY SORRY. AND SORRY TO ALT , WHOEVER YOU ARE. I CAN SEE THAT YOU DISLIKE ME FROM THE WAY YOU REPLY , WHICH I DON'T KNOW WHY. BUT I AM SORRY IF I HAVE OFFENDED YOU. THANK YOU
HAD "PMS" TODAY. came back from follow up at around 7. had my dinner. played badminton with sis. then later i was damn angry for i don't know what reason, i started to become crazy. i feel like killing people and most of all i feel like killing HER which i don't know why either. i started to swear over msn and kept signing in and out while Joel was constantly IRRITATING me with his HI HELLO YOU THERE messages AND HE IS STILL IRRITATING ME WITH RETARDED EMOTICONS. before my madness come again and i rant on my bloody blog, i apologise for those affected during my "PMS" period.
THIS SPACE LEAVES A MEMORY OF A RANT.
WATCH THIS SPACE.
I was browsing my statcounter yesterday because i was dead bored and then i was checking on this lovely function called "Visitors From" and i saw some visits coming from google. my first time seeing my own things actually appearing on the search engine!
Address on search engine.
wow. and also , there was this girl's blog who actually linked me and some friends in chinese. (it's a chinese blog.) and the way she describe melson is really funny. (it says quietest stranger in chinese) and also kenneth (big macho man).
Someone's Blog
today was a rainy day again. and so games carnival had to stop. it rained like tsunami and i even managed to take a video of the stairs of the street soccer court being flooded with water, flowing down like rapids. gee. anyway, was reading Shi Xiang's blog and i had a good laugh at his maple story post. Good Lord, it was well written. I think Shi Xiang can become a comedian already. The developers of Maplestory must have used their retardedly cute 2d sprites to attract innocent people of age ranging from 1-120 to press their C button the whole day and spending cash on useless stuff like maple pets so they could show off to other people in the game and they will recieve the reaction of "0oh mah toouberretardedlykawaiicuteness, y0uur kiitten is so kawaiix nehxxx!! I alsh00 waan tat w0rrhxx~!" *shows that spastic sad face that look like she got raped by 236213547923 people*. They are depriving them of their childhood with their dark arts behind those sprites. I bet they designed the sprites such that they emit eletrons of some atom that will react with your brain atoms and start to bond it using covalent forces and then mutate it to become some weird molecule. Soon enough people will start to drool as their eyes stare hard at their crystal screen LCD as they find fun in the repeated pressing of hotkeys and burning their time away trying to poke some snails. Lord , I pray that you will save this generation from that cursed game of the Devil's plan, deliver them from the retardness and do not let them continue their foolishness. Amen.
hello blog. these days were the monsoon season. rain kept coming like tsunami, thunders are dominating the sky and it was dark, cold and windy. however, it was also a good time to sleep. i was coming home today by bus and by mrt. i found so many fault with people. have you ever felt angry at those people who sat on the exterior seat in the bus and put their bags beside them while their laps has nothing on? that's right. i saw this middle age auntie, with her bloody black bag beside her when the whole bus was really crowded. talk about it. and, have you ever thought of how people just refuse to give up seats for people who really needed them? yup. and while walking home from the bus stop this fat guy just spit his goddamn sticky phlemn (or whatever you spell it) without even thinking that it is downright uncivillised and that it will spread germs? and have you ever see people throwing their rubbish on the floor just like that? can't they just put it in their stinking pockets instead of making the whole place dirty? whew. i pray for these people. and i found fault in school too. have you ever find it troublesome to keep filing like every few months cause your file is filled with those goddamn worksheets? do you feel hurt when you take out your fullscap paper and use it just to write a few sentences cause that's what your teacher ask you to do for the sake of tidyness? if only the school would use electronic platform for learning, the trees would be glad. and the whole bloody world won't die because of the things schools are doing. eg. print paper and paper and more bloody paper. (we would all die from global warming if this goes on!)
behold, worshippers of false gods.
thou who does not know thy true living God.
thou shalt not make it to heaven
but to join the Satan's minions
and suffer the tortures of hell.
for my God shall rule supreme.
Hallehlujah.
i start of with the Lord's Prayer.
Matthew 6:9:10
Our Father in heaven;
Hallowed be Your name.
Your Kingdom come.
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
As we forgive our debtors.
And do not lead us into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.
Amen.
today. went to church for word challenge. our zone won. yup. the team challenger won! and they got a palm top and a spirit filled bible. hurrays for them. was playing sims 2 in the night and something disturbing happened. cori called me. he told me of all the troubles he had. and i felt the pain he was having. the lonelyness one could die from. i want to tell cori, if your reading this:
Matthew 5:43-45
"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbour and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you,do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust."
cori, forgive their hatred and love them. it will make the world a better place. if you feel down, rejected, sad, i am here for you. for the Lord is there for me, i shall do the same.
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